Therapy Horse, Ophelia
What a wonderful day one. Going in, I was filled with anticipation and excitement. I couldn’t wait to get started, but admittedly, I was a little nervous – in that good way – like butterflies.
Before we met the horses, Shelley’s team, Sarah and I spoke a little about expectations and hopes. I confided that my recent state in life has left me feeling a bit stagnant and unfulfilled, and I longed for an emotional and spiritual outlet. I felt that because of my extreme love of animals and my interest in psychology, this therapy horse program had my name written all over it. I really wanted a place to be able to feel what I feel, hear what others are feeling, cry, hug a horse and not be judged for sometimes feeling a little dissatisfied or sad. I strongly believe that it’s only when I’m emerged in nature and “creatures” as I call them, that I can find and feel true peace. So naturally bonding with horses combined with objective, emotional exploration sounded perfect.
When asked if I had any concerns before starting, I gave a raw and honest answer – that I would be just devastated if the horses didn’t like me…because I was so desperately eager to connect with them. I wanted them to be able to instantly detect my sincerity and pureness of soul – to be acknowledged and recognized – validated. I wanted the horses to love me as much as I loved them and to feel safe and secure in my presence. I wanted them to see me as a good human – someone they could trust – so much so that as Ophelia later taught me, I may have been a little overenthusiastic and a bit over-stimulated.
I learned an obvious lesson: Developing a trusting relationship with a horse is much like building one with a human. You have to decide a mutually comfortable pace and leave all expectations at the door – this way you can have a truly organic and sincere experience. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and love doesn’t happen at first sight – no matter what the fairy tales say. True love, real love, love beyond infatuation takes time to develop and grow, and I eagerly but patiently await for this to happen. I want more than just to admire these majestic creatures – I want to learn about them, learn from them and learn about myself in the process.
While gentle Ophelia expertly taught me that patience and calm is key to serene bonding, Beijo showed me something else. Now, it’s probably important to note that by the time I got to Beijo, I’d already been calmed and settled by Ophelia’s powerful presence and skilled guidance. She did the grunge work and graciously allowed me to get out my initial overzealous excitement on her. So when I finally approached Beijo, I was more at ease. But there is still no fooling these perceptive masters. Feisty Beijo sensed my emotional submission and decided to push me around a little – testing, as it’s called. He could probably see me coming a mile away, and he was right. I would most likely do anything he wanted, as I felt completely mesmerized by his persuasive charms and noble valor.
My Beloved Autumn
So he tested me with a little naughty nibbling on my hand. Ana instructed me to correct his testing behavior, and I tried – meekly at first, but I got better – as I truly desired to speak his language so that we could understand each other. But I have to admit, even with my beloved dog, Autumn, I have no qualms letting them run the show – not because I’m submissive by nature – I’m not – but I guess that’s what I do when I’m completely and utterly enamored. Pleasantly paralyzed, if you will. “T’was beauty killed the beast,” after all; and it wouldn’t be the first time I’d been beguiled.
An interesting difference to note between Ophelia and Beijo, though completely speculation on my part: I felt like with Ophelia, it was more about what she could do for me. And with Beijo, it was more about what I could do for him. Is this just the natural difference between males and females? Or perhaps one step further with female to female relationships and female to male relationships? I’m not entirely sure, but one thing is certain. Either of them could’ve stomped me into the ground without barely breaking a sweat, but both chose not to, and for that, I’m humbled. Both Ophelia and Beijo, as different as they are, were kind, gracious creatures that with such dignified tolerance, allowed me – a stranger – to get close to them. They stood patiently and allowed me to touch their faces and bodies and to press my body onto theirs, which resulted in the most soul-satisfying horse-hug. How could I not feel completely humbled by their sincerity and honesty?
Both of these magnificent animals knew I wasn’t afraid. And both horses didn’t melt into my adoring caresses as I had hoped. We didn’t intuitively and automatically fall into each others’ loving gazes, but alas, relationships command effort and time. And while I found it a challenge to contain my zeal, I wanted to be as respectful to the horses and to the process as possible. I respect them, and I respect the process. I’m open and ready for our future encounters. And more than just enjoy them, I strive to learn and grow from them. What a wonderful day one.
Forever Autumn 