Beautiful Ophelia and me.
The final session, I have to admit, was bittersweet. For weeks, I’ve been bonding with these amazing women and a glorious horse, and I didn’t really feel like not doing that anymore. But the final curtain was falling; however not before going out with one last beautiful bang.
This final lesson was a culmination of all that we have experienced throughout the course. Juliana had us set up another obstacle course, but this time, it unveiled a slightly different story.
What did we hope to achieve? What have we learned? What surprises popped up along the way?
Peace/Happiness: when first entering this emotional arena, I was burdened with sadness – worried that I was unable to ever achieve happiness again after my two trying years of misfortune. Upon reflection, this concern seems almost comical, as within moments of our first session, I could barely contain my zeal. And now, post-class, I have the most wonderful memories of true peace and happiness to reflect on. I have several “happy places” to escape to as I often do – most significantly, walking with Ophelia as she playfully poked and teased me, as friends do. We had formed a true friendship based on trust, and I can’t think of anything more blissful.
Patience: never my strong point, I hoped to achieve an inner calm that would help me feel less frustrated in certain situations and less eager in others. To my delight and surprise, I learned this humbling lesson on Day 1. I was so enthusiastic and filled with nervous energy, but Ophelia taught me to simmer down and move slowly with purpose. She wanted me to be mindful of my energy and of my actions and how they affect others. She taught me to be present in the moment as she must be as an animal of prey. And she reminded me that quality relationships – even interspecies ones – take trust and time.
Confidence: After two rough years, my self confidence was at an all-time low. I was hoping to rediscover the confidence in myself I once had. This epiphany happened for me on sessions two-five. I never felt more confident as I seamlessly weaved through challenging obstacle courses time and time again with my valiant confidant, Ophelia by my side. I proudly led, and she happily followed. After I learned patience, we bonded quickly, and I felt proud to have earned such an honor. Her friendship and respect meant more to me than anything. It came with ease – and in a world where everything feels so stressful and challenging, it was refreshing to have something feel so seamless. Ophelia saw in me from the beginning what tough times had buried. She knew I could do it and awakened my confidence out of its two-year slumber.
Three days later at work, and still high from my bonding time with Ophelia, I submitted some unusual copy. I knew it wasn’t what they wanted but was determined to try something new. I understood that the chances of getting this copy approved was bleak, as they are not fans of straying from the norm. And to my honest surprise, it went right though, and the new direction was commended. I have Ophelia to thank for that. ❤
Connection:
More than anything, I wanted to learn and love and connect with the horses. I wanted to learn and grow from and with them. I wanted to get lost in the peaceful bliss that comes with their majestic presence. But connection didn’t come instantaneously – as much as I wanted it to. It took patience, confidence and trust to connect with Ophelia. She is a very smart girl.
Satisfaction:
Worried that I suffered from chronic dissatisfaction, I needed to know if feeling content was even possible. And while I felt content the moment I stepped foot into the stable, I wasn’t truly aware of it until our 4th session where we led Ophelia through an obstacle course of our own demons.. This proved particularly challenging for me, as I was so happy and delighted to be by Ophelia’s side, that I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than feeling wonderful. And then it hit me – I’m content. I’m satisfied. I’m at peace. I’m confident. I’m…happy. Man, there is nothing that horse can’t do.
On our last day, we explored all of these feelings – my “infinite cycle of demons,” the beginning, the journey and the end destination, which turned out to be only the beginning of a new and improved voyage. I have named my demons, faced them, and while I know they won’t magically disappear, I am now better equipped to deal with them – whether it’s to live in harmony or to eventually evict them out of my head. Juliana taught me that I need to give myself permission to feel what I feel without judgment. It’s ok to feel sad or dissatisfied – even if someone outside is looking or judging. Permission. I never thought of it that way
As a final farewell, Ophelia took us for a few laps – mounted. And though I had been horseback riding before, it had never been with an equestrian friend, which seemed to make all the difference. Beneath me, I could feel her powerful muscles propelling her body. I watched as her mane swayed, her ears twitched and her head rhythmically moved in time with her stride. I held my legs tight to her body, and my body seemed to automatically move with her. We were in tuned, once again. I secretly desired to be running in nature with her. I felt giddy and dreamed of a partnership that knew no limits – running, jumping, free and fearless. And while this mounted stance felt incredible, I also longed to be down on the ground beside her where I could see her face and touch the softest part of her muzzle. Another happy place.
But alas, it was the end of our time together…and as Shakespeare once wrote, “parting is such sweet sorrow.”
I am so indebted to Shelley, Ana, Juliana and Ophelia for all that they have given me. Not only is my confidence renewed, but I now have an arsenal of valuable tools and beautiful memories to fuel my days going forward. These profound sessions touched my mind and my soul in a way that I never could have imagined. And I am eternally grateful to the entire team for this powerful experience – but most of all to the noble Ophelia – whose humbling majesty will forever live in my grateful heart.
Forever Autumn 